And after that first initial meeting she became my main squeeze for many years. I pretty much wasted about 15 years of what should be a persons most precious years. I feel that the years between 20-40 years of age will most of the time determine the vocation or career an individual will practice for thier remaining years. I spent mine slowly killing myself and in prison. I lived on the streets with the rats and the waterbugs. I lived in darkened rooms and nearly died several times right beside the candle light. My mind was very close to a liquid state. I held coucil among the dying and spoke at great lengths to puppets and dolls about matters of urgency. I thought that heroin was my savior until i realized that i never needed to be rescued from myself until long after my affair had already began to take its deadly toll on my life. I remember walking the streets till all hours, day in and day out over and over again just wishing someone would rescue me. I was mad. Back then you could'nt tell me nothing. I was "The King of the Inferno, the head of the snake, The Prince of tompkins Square Park. " Yeah, i was Mad alright, i see that now. Today i rely on my higher self and my network of family and close friends . Along with many teachings that i have learned to incorporate into my life with positive results. Today, i man up. I rescue myself.
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